Attending high school sporting events is entertaining to say the least. One observation I have made is that in general, the quietest, most isolated adult fans are the easiest to identify. They are parents who have been through it before, and this is likely their youngest competitor they’re supporting. They’ve learned to relax, appreciate, and let the child enjoy his or her experience. Another likely possibility is that it’s a mom or dad who is currently coaching or who has much coaching experience, and they just “get it.” They know it’s not worth yelling and screaming at the kids or the officials, so why bother? Their attitude is: “Let me sit back and observe the talent, the beauty of the sport, and the joy of competition. Oh yeah, and support my child doing something he loves!”
On the other side is the grandparent whose sole focus is his/her grandchild, and while that athlete may not be particularly good, the grandparent seems to think they are the center of the team and every parent they talk to should know that! These people just make me smile. They are truly proud, biased out of love, and eager to socialize.
All innocent enough, until you attend game after game after game of the same group of parents for the same team and sport. That’s when you really start to be entertained. The dad taking pictures who yells at the top of his lungs after every call because, of course, our team is always being wrongly accused by stripes. The intensity and frequency of this dad rings throughout the game, and you never hear the second half of anything he says because he has laryngitis by the third minute of the game!
Then there’s the dad with the stopwatch who is absolutely livid at the disparity in playing time of the players. He seriously records every single shift and time in and out for every player so as to back up his tremendous emotions regarding lack of impartiality and poor coaching. Finally, we get to the dad who actually suggests the ugliest kind of jealousy: one of a grown man directed at a talented youth athlete who is not his own child. Wow. Really? The funny thing is, these parents and fans usually do not reflect the genuine feelings and attitudes of their very own children, who are working hard and are simply happy to be a part of something positive.
We finish with the outrageously vocal mom, who may or may not have been an athlete in her day, but certainly seems to know every nuance of the game and how to verbally dehumanize the referees and aggressive players on the opposing teams. Can we all, say, take a “chill” pill?
Recently, I witnessed three of my son’s teammates stop between plays and turn towards their own parent and yell, “Enough!” Yes, the word “enough” was used. No cursing, no rude or crude or disrespectful comebacks, just, “Enough!” At this point I mumbled to myself, way to go, so-and-so…you tell them! I was proud to see that despite the misconstrued efforts of the crazy adults in the stands, the players on the field just want to play the game. Let the refs be refs, they’re going to make mistakes. Let the opposition bring on a challenge, it is welcomed, and let’s all just enjoy the game!
As a coach for many years and a parent of three very hungry, dedicated athletes, I have learned a lot just by attending youth sporting events. I recall when our oldest was just starting, and it was always the parents who had older children who kept off to the side and took it all in calmly, reflectively, and happily. They knew that whoever won and whatever the refs called, their child would grow up some day and remember they had fun playing sports. The parents with their first child participating were gung-ho volunteers, coaches, fans, you-name-it. All with good intentions, but also all too frequently uptight enough to warrant an EKG. Don’t get me wrong, I witness some pretty poor officiating, and occasionally I will yell the old, “call it both ways, ref” line, but overall, the beauty of sport in my mind is letting the athletes absorb the experience and reap the benefits of a commitment towards something constructive, rewarding, and healthy for both mind and body.