2020: I would never have thought this is how life would be right now.

Well, I am guilty of feeling that at least once a day. I am currently a couple of weeks away from moving to Nashville, Tennessee. About seven months ago I applied for a year of service with Jesuit Volunteer Corps and here we are. When I was applying, I thought this process would be going a little differently. I thought I would have been on campus getting the email that I was accepted and running straight to Campus Ministry to freak out with excitement. I thought I would be able to hug my friends and loved ones goodbye instead of a teary-eyed wave. I thought the only anxiety I would be experiencing would be that I was moving ten hours away by myself for the first time. I never thought I would be anxiously thinking:  “What if when I move, one of my family members gets really sick with the virus and I am ten hours away?” or "What if I get really sick?” To be completely honest, the list of questions could go on, but that is not the point of this blog post.

When the pandemic first started, I thought it was just going to affect a couple weeks of my senior year of college. Obviously, that was wishful thinking. In May, I thought it would not affect my year of service...and here we are. When i begin my ministry in Nashville, I will be serving at a Room in the Inn, a center that connects individuals who suffer from homelessness to essential services. My job responsibilities have changed a little due to added resources that will be needed, plus programs at the center have been temporarily cancelled during the pandemic. My schedule is going to be an intering working environment because we need to be grouped on teams just in case someone comes in contact or is infected with COVID-19. I will be primarily working outside due to state guidelines for the pandemic. Everything is changing. And what's even crazier is that it could all change in the three week until I get there. 

Uncertainty gives me automatic anxiety. I never was good at handling the concept of uncertainty, but during these past four months I have learned that this is a part of life, especially now. My dad has always told me to “just relax.” Easier said than done - but he is right (hopefully he does not read this). So, even with all of the worries that I have for getting ready for my year of service to my actual time there, I know that it is all worth it. It has taught me one very big lesson. I just need to trust in God. I am not saying to ignore health codes and the way of life because I am still wearing my mask, washing my hands, keeping distance, etc...but, when I start to doubt everything about life right now, I just remind myself that I need to trust in God and “just relax.”. I am about to start a new journey that I thought I would never make it to at time and I am so fortunate that I have the chance still.Things could be much worse.